Kitschy B-List Horror

The Strangers (2008), written and directed by Bryan Bentino, and starring Liv Tyler and Scott Speedman.  As usual, the classic horror movie is never complete without a hot couple at a secluded summer home.   Terrifying and almost too realistic, The Strangers was a very suspenseful and uber-graphic flick.  I also have to add, without giving anything away (since I hate to write any spoilers), that vintage masks are the creepiest, and vacation homes are always the site of brutal murder (why buy them?).  I guess it must be the irony of being killed while on your vacation, but I have to say, I always think that the characters in this type of film are totally moronic (they always allow themselves to be separated, they never know how to fire a weapon, and they never lock the doors or have charged cell-phones).  I mean, who is that unlucky?  Maybe all of these movies rely on the worst-case-scenario, but it is usually highly amusing for me to watch the main character follow the exact path of least resistance toward their destruction:)  If you are interested in yet another psycho-killer-in-the-woods flick, then please, look no further:)

Vampires are Exciting

So, I watched a very creepy Vampire movie last week, and I feel that I should review it now that I bought and read the book "Twilight", by Stephenie Meyer, 24 hours ago.  Yes, I bought it, and then read it.  The whole book.  It was good:)  I think that vampires are totally fascinating, and I usually enjoy Dracula-themed movies as well (whether they are actually good movies or not:).  Before I get down to brass tacks, here are my top 5 good-but-terrible-vampire movies of all time:)

1) Interview With The Vampire (1994) (actually a good movie, based on an even better book:)

2) Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992) (also really good, but with some wretched accents, and Keanu   Reeves, who ruins pretty much anything)

3) Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992) (karate and vampires, plus Luke Perry?  awesome)

4) Once Bitten (1985) (Jim Carrey makes a great vampire, plus there is a classic 80's dance-off)

5) Underworld (2003) (Kate Beckinsale is the sexiest vampire ever, and there is a lot of cool, plastic-looking spandex goin' on, which is always nice.)

Here is the movie that I watched last week:

*30 Days of Night (2007), directed by David Slade, and starring Josh Hartnett, is a totally grotesque and horrifying take on vampire lore.  In a nightmarish twist, a flock of blood-suckers invades a remote Alaskan town, which is completely isolated every year by extreme weather, and 30 days of total darkness.  I mean, come on.  Alaska is scary enough without some vampires, right?  These vampires went way beyond the run-of-the-mill undead, with nasty, crazy eyes and really messy, bloody faces:)  These guys definitely take no pride in their appearance:)  They also screeched a lot, and spoke in an archaic language that you know doesn't stem from the Indo-European (way too scary).  So, I would give this flick a thumbs-up for story-line and all-out scariness, but a big, fat thumbs-down for dialogue.  But, who watches a vamp movie for chit-chat anyway?

As you all know, I like movies a lot.  I also like books a lot.  I recommend the "Twilight" series for anybody anywhere, so there you go:)

Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween, folks!  I will post pictures from our night of toddler-partying and trick-or-treat- parading, but for now, here is my halloween movie pic of 2008:

* Grindhouse (2007), directed and written by Robert Rodriguez, Eli Roth, Quentin Tarantino, Edgar Wright, and Rob Zombie (viewed in 2 full, feature-length parts):

1) Planet Terror... starring Rose McGowan, Freddy Rodriguez, Bruce Willis and Josh Brolin.  This is a gore-fest in the tradition of classic zombie horror, combined with all out machine-gun action.  Not for the feint of heart, this flick contains exploding pustules, brain-eating, limb-removal and inappropriate prosthesis, and a very exciting romance:)  We enjoyed it thoroughly, and definitely recommend this one for anybody who ever dreamed of seeing a machine- gun as a prosthetic leg!

2) Death Proof... starring Kurt Russell, is also an amazing combination of 1970s movie genres.  We have the killer-car that runs down sexy young women to their deaths, and is (in this case) driven by a very charismatic psycho.  The other major theme involves the stalking and subsequent, grisly murder of said sexy, young women, and as in many American horrors from the 1970s, their deaths seem almost predictable because of their drunken, sexy shenanigans:)  Did I say sexy?  haha.  My personal favorite is the ultimate triumph (spoiler alert!!!) of some very capable and bad-ass ladies.  The end is a fabulous turn-around of the norm:)  

*Final review in one word:  Hilarious!

Here are some family friendly Halloween flicks for those readers that are not particularly interested in Grindhouse:)

1) Practical Magic (1998), directed by Griffin Dunne, and starring Nicole Kidman and Sandra Bullock.  This is a for-sure personal favorite of mine, in part because it is all about sisters (I have 2), but also in part for the cool Stevie Nicks soundtrack (what?  You don't think that is cool?  Well, I do.)  This flick captures some aspects of witchiness that I find fascinating, and the whole story takes place around this amazing Victorian house on an island.   Dunne delivers romance, ghosts, murder, family lineage, and a big dose of witchiness...what is not to like?  (One weird moment:  Nicole Kidman, Dianne Weist, Stockard Channing and Sandra Bullock dancing around with margharitas... very awkward and strange).  Still, I really want to live in that house.

2) Sleepy Hollow (1999), directed by Tim Burton, and starring Johnny Depp and Christina Ricci.  Very fun adaptation of the Washington Irving classic tale.  We have all of Burton's hallmarks (J.D., dark spookiness, and a lot of cleavage and big, brown eyes!).  Sure to delight everyone in the family, and especially fun for those in the Hudson River Valley:)

3) Hocus Pocus (1993), directed by Kenny Ortega, and starring the incomparable Bette Midler and SJP.  This is my younger sister, Virgil's, favorite halloweenie film from our youth.  (Her name isn't really Virgil, but for my blog's purposes, my sisters are called Virgil and Charlie).  This is fine family fun, full of witches, spells, cauldrons, virgins, halloween costumes, and talking cats:)  Show it to any children that you know!!!

4) Ghostbusters (I and II) (1984 and 1989, respectively), directed by Ivan Reitman and written by Dan Aykroyd and Harold Ramis.  I won't insult your intelligence by describing these movies, but I will just say that you must watch them again (because I know that you have seen them, and loved them), and that Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis, Sigourney Weaver, and Rick Moranis are perfection.  Classic, and Must-See.  

Happy Halloween!!!!